Theology & Film - Podcast Lecture 11

Shane is delighted to be interviewing Professor Neil Ormerod this week on the topic of forgiveness, looking at this issue in relation to the films Dead Man Walking and The Crossing Guard. For your podcast assignment this week, we would like you to write a more devotional-style entry on your experience of either forgiving another person or being forgiven yourself. (Feel free to omit names).

Download film_lecture_eleven.mp3

Comments

[Ada Decolongon]

My journey and experience with forgiveness, as with everyone, is something that is forever ongoing. I find that the hardest things about forgiveness are being quick to do it when in regards to 'little things', and to be in a continual mindset to forgive. Suppose that one has deeply hurt you and you have chosen to forgive him/her. But then over the course of time, something happens between you and that individual again, or there is a lapse in character and you need to forgive again. I find that what I struggle with is expecting the best from people only to find that sometimes they may have not changed and that you can't change them. And it is in these times that I find it hard to forgive and have to remember that just as I am forgiven so must I forgive others.

[kristina Fuglesten]

What I have experienced of forgivness so far in my life is not enough to know what it is like to pay the price of giving someone forgiveness. I am not sure if I could say to some one who have experienced injustice of a serious kind to forgive, because I have not been there myself. I do know how it feel to carry bitterness, and wanting the other person to feel just as bad as me. As it grows your head just get more and more full of these unhealthy thoughts. In that situation it was important for me to tell the person how I felt, because he had no idea, I said that I thought what he did was wrong but I also said that I am sick of being bitter.. And after that the bitterness kind of decreased.
All I know is that to live in unforgiveness is very hard. I think it is important to let people go through the process of forgivness, and not expecting it to be gone in a sec. I think it is good to practice forgivness, by letting go at small things that happens in everyday life. As long as you are in relationship to people you will get hurt..

[Gudrun Sveinsdottir]

There was this girl in college that I really could not get along with, and it was obvious that she did not like me either. One day during summer holidays I was spending time with God and felt him saying that I had to go and apologize to her. This to me really freaky because I was quite intimidated by her and had no clue how she would react, whether she would simply laugh at me, make fun of me or accept the apology. Therefore I did not do anything about it for weeks of perhaps even months. Then one week in both church and chapel the topic was forgiveness and how important it was for us Christians not to live in disunity with each other. At the connect group I lead for Wildlife for 15 year olds at the time, one of my girls was to share the word, and she chose the topic of forgiveness too! I really felt again that God wanted me to go up to this person and try to be `reconziled` with her...
So later that week I took courage and went up to her, apologizing for not liking her etc. To my surprize, she apologized back (which I thought would have been unlike this person)and an incredible relief came over me. I knew I had none the right thing, after all, we were in ministry together and I wasn`t liking my weekly ministry simply because she was there. But this made everything better. I still can`t exactly say that she is my favourite person, but I know I did the right thing and that it brought relief and peace into the situation.

[Jessica]

The most challenging experience I've had when I've had to forgive someone is when I was 16. I was diagnosed with an extremely serious stomach disorder that kept me in and out of hospital for a year. During that time, I suffered from an array of emotional and mental problems - depression, anxiety, eating disorders, stress syndrome etc. - due to the trauma of being seriously ill for so long. In the midst of this situation, a close friend of mine decided that he was going to marry me and tried to pursue a relationship with me. This was a particularly complicated situation as I was unable to think or act rationally due to the severity of my physical and mental health. I tried to avoid the situation as best as I could and when he kept persisting, I completely freaked out and didn't see him or talk to him for 3 years. Since he was such a prominent figure in that year, I found myself blaming him for much of the pain and suffering that I went through. After 3 years of trying to deal with this, I realised that I had to forgive him, and also apologise to him at the same time, for ignoring him for so long. Then I was able to forgive myself for the guilt that I felt. It was a very strange and complicated situation but I realised that unforgiveness and blame is an extremely ugly thing that penetrates through every relationship you try and have. Apologising and forgiving this person was the best thing I ever did because he set me free from my own blame and guilt that was so heavily burdening me.

[paul tan]

First of all, thanks to Neil and Shane for such a thought-provoking and enjoyable podcast!

When I was growing up through highschool I never had a great relationship with my dad. Arguments were a daily occurrance, and though we were both Christians, we would still let fly with words, often cutting words, which would pierce our hearts deeply.

One morning on the way to the train station we had a particularly nasty argument, after which I found myself sitting on the train just crying out to God for his grace to heal my heart, as I just felt like there was too much pain for God to handle. After a while of just sitting there, crying and praying, I felt like God was telling me to forgive my dad, regardless of how justified I felt in what I had said and how I had responded.

At first it was hard to do, but as I started, I found that God gave me the strength not only to forgive him for the words he had said, but to pray for him sincerely, that God would bless him. There truly was a release in my spirit that morning on the train.

Though our relationship now is still not 100%, I've found that my forgiving him that day started me on a road to a greater freedom than I had ever known, a freedom where I am not bound by the words of others no matter what they say.

[Liz Langton]

Forgiveness - the word we hate but know we need to love and get good at. Or maybe that is just me!

My journey to follow what I believe God has called me to has been embedded with family members who disagreed with my live choices and at at times, chose to withdraw the support they had always promised me. I am now continually learning that forgiveness is a continuing process when it involves people you need to continually honour. And thats ok. Because Christ continues to forgive me no matter what and I can learn to do the same.

[Jackie Worcester]

Growing up our family was steeped in Catholism and we were staunch Catholics. So becoming a Christian and leaving the Catholic faith was almost cosidered apostacy. I have five sister and all of them turned against me when I became a Christian.

So much so that one year they were having a family reuinion and they diliberatly did not tell me about it. This hurt a lot as even my mother did not tell me, and I thought she was ok with my decision to become a Christian.

It took a long time to get that hurt out of my system. I knew I should forgive but each time I thought of it the feeling of hurt rose up within me.

After spending a lot of time seeking God, and talking to God about this situation, God gave me the grace to come to terms with the fact that I really needed to forgive them.

I had to forgive them many many times over and over again, as forgivness is a process, until I was finally released in this area.

I figured the sooner I forgive the sooner I would be relased, I had to CHOOSE to forgive, it does not come naturally.

On a positive note, because I have truly forgiven them I now live in freedom from hurt.

[ruth]

Whoa! To answer this question I cannot truly give an example of forgiving or being forgiven by somebody else. In my opinion, forgiveness is something on a divine level.
I can accept the situation or circumstances and move on with life but I think to truly forgive is something that only God can do. In saying this, I have not forgiven or been forgiven, but have accepted and moved on, and have passed the job of “forgiveness” to the Lord. I believe that accepting and moving on is a choice that one has to make Every Day. I don’t think forgiveness should be confused with forgetting either. But I digress. : )

[Rebecca Lowe]

I think that I wasn't able to forgive anyone until I realised that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. It eats away your own self and you think the other person knows how you feel but they don't. My greatest example of how to forgive is Jesus. I love the verse that says: He entrusted himself to the one who judges justly. I live by that verse, if I know i'm right and i'm really hurt I pray and seek God about if I should confront the issue but generally speaking, I entrust myself to the one who judges justly. The person I found hardest to forgive was myself. I have to let God and others love me. But in my life experience my Dad was the person that hurt me the most he has been a violent alcoholic my whole life and done extremely aweful things to me and my family. I chose to forgive and through that our miracle working God I believe that one day my dad might be in heaven with me.

[Brendon O'Reilly]

I learnt forgiveness by having to forgive someone without them asking for forgiveness, this was hard, i knew that without forgiving them i would feel anger and bitterness towards them whenever i saw them, so made the choice to forgive them for what they had been saying about me... it was an awkward situation as i could not talk to people about it due to the circumstances, the only person i could talk to was involved...so the best thing for me to do was forgive and make a choice to love that person no matter what

[Stephen Morris]

I personally choose to forgive my step father daily for the way he fathered me, my sister, how he treated my mother and was responsible for the breakdown of their marriage and the family unit. I dont see forgiveness as a one off release/event but like God's grace i recieve it actively which enables me to release forgiveness for him actively. There is no reconciliation beiween us,but like lance said, forgiveness doesnt mean reconciliation. However forgiveness allows me to process his pain and his upbringing and pray for him to be released from a life of being ripped off from recieving the joys of heaven and earth.

Love I believe encompasses grace and grace encompasses forgiveness, which is why i believe forgiveness is active and continual, however forgiveness doesnt need a recipient, it just needs a sender, but if it is recieved im sure it makes them feel a lot more whole. Thank God he told us he forgave us, and continues to, and that we know we are reconciled.

[janelle acevedo]

wow hard question. so many times i've had to forgive and ask to be forgiven. well to be honest i find it hard to really forgive myself for alot of things, and this year has really dealt with that.
my parents separated for 3 years wen i was kind so i didnt realise how much it owuld affect me when it came to trustin people when i started to get into relationships. i got into alot of crap in high school even wen i was supposed to behave and a christian. hahaha fun times. anywayz i began to realise how much what happend began to affect me because i was constantly just not trusting people and giving themother parts fo myself to convince them or even me that i did really love and trust.
i think thats wen i couldnt forgive myself forthe stupid mistakes i made and i kept saying i should of known better because i know i was alot smarter than to do stupid stuff. anywayz i eventually got betrayed twice by people i truly loved and became bitter and suffered deep saddness for a while. but now things are alot better as God really brought me to my knees and i guess i understood what it means to forgive them as well as myself for what i had choosen to do in the past. that forgiveness is not based on how good i am, or else i wouldnt need it because i wouldnt do anything wrong. but that it comes through grace and a heart turning towards God.